I'm okay!

No,

Seriously.

Don’t leave, it’s too early

I know I’m annoying you

But I need you here with me

I’m scared of what may happen if you leave me alone

I’m scared of what I might do

I’m scared of seeing blood running down my arms again

I’m scared of having to use a wristband so no one notices

I’m scared of not being able to eat

I’m scared of smoking again

I’m scared of myself

But don’t listen to me

I know you won’t anyways

Don’t forget your jacket, it’s on the chair

It’s cold outside

And I’m going to miss you

Message me later if you feel like it

Even though I doubt you will

I think about you all the time

And I’m always afraid I will say something wrong

I know my ‘I love you’s scare you

And I know you say it too because you feel forced to

It’s okay,

It shows you care at least a little bit

Give me a kiss

Drive safely

Let me know when you get home

I’m already going to bed

I’m sorry for being like this

I wonder where the razors are hidden

I wonder how much vodka is left

No, I’m not hungry

I know I haven’t eaten since yesterday

But I’m okay!

It’s all okay!

I wonder if you got home, because I didn’t get a message

It’s been three days

My bed is getting colder

My sheets don’t smell like you anymore

My heart is aching

But I’m okay!

It’s all okay!

10/20/17   

1:21 a.m